Trying To Be Strong
by PurpleSheep
Summary: Set after the battle in the Ministry during OOTP. Remus is at Tonks bedside waiting for her to wake up, knowing that when she does he has to tell her about Sirius...


**Authors Note -**

Just to clarify, I own nothing of Harry Potter, unfortunately...

I hope that you enjoy and understand my story, I've read through it myself a couple of times and it seems to be all right,

This stories a sort of beginning in the Tonks/Remus relationship, if you think I should add more chapters, either from Tonks POV or just to carry on the story please let me know via reviews.

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Remus sat next to Tonks bed, watching the slow rise and fall of her chest as she lay unconscious. The pale light from the crescent moon falling upon her face, illuminating her features.

Her hair had morphed back into her natural mousy brown colour, the effects brought on due to her current state. Remus brushed aside a wayward lock that had found itself over her closed eyes. His hand resting on her cheek, stroking it gently.

He wanted her to wake up, but yet again, maybe it would be nicer for her to sleep a little wile longer. She didn't deserve to wake up to the news of what had happened at the Ministry.

Remus felt his eyes blur as tears built up within them. He hastily brushed them away. He needed to be strong for when she woke up.

Sirius was gone. Another Marauder. He being the only true one left. He felt his throat tighten at the thought. He wouldn't cry, he had shed too many tears over the years.

He distracted himself by taking hold of the young girls hand, squeezing it tightly and running his thumb gently over her white knuckles. Her hand felt so small and soft compared to his large and hard one. His eyes trailed up her arms, covered with small cuts and bruises from the battle.

Images flew through his head of the scene. Flashes of spells and bodies tumbling through the air.

He shook his head harshly, willing the images away. He continued his pathway up her arm, reaching a bandaged shoulder. She landed on it when she fell, falling down the stairs in her clumsy manor. Of course it wasn't her fault, Bellatrix had her way with her.

Again he stopped his train on thought, he didn't want to remember what had happened now. It was over and he needed to relax. To organise what to say when she finally awoken.

He looked up at her pale face, at the thick bandages around her head, making her look like a typical injured muggle solider.

He was brought out of his reverie by a hand on his shoulder. Molly.

'Remus dear, go get some sleep, the medi wizards can keep an eye on her. You need some time to think after what's just happened…' she trailed off.

'I'm fine Molly, besides, she needs a friendly face to wake up to.' Remus replied, forcing his lips into a tight smile.

'Are you sure dear? I'm sure someone from the Order can keep an eye on her, and her parents are coming in the morning.' Molly said, attempting to get him home.

'I'm fine Molly, really, you go on to Hogworts now, the children need seeing to.' He replied.

'Well if your sure then Remus, but please do get some rest dear.' Molly said, pulling the man into an embrace before leaving.

Remus looked around at Tonks again. Still no sign of her waking up yet. It was getting onto 2:30am now; the battle had finished by 11:00pm. He squeezed her hand again, attempting to rouse her with no such luck.

He rubbed his tired eyes and muffled a yawn, feeling the newly grown stubble on his chin as he did so. He glanced around the room and did a double take as he glimpsed at the corner. He was sure he saw a black, shaggy dog. A dog that looked exactly like… but no, of course it wasn't him. He shook his head again; he simply couldn't allow himself to see such things. Not things that reminded him of Sirius so soon after…

He was dragged out of his frantic thoughts by a slight twitch from a petit hand that was encased in his. He quickly glanced at her face, looking for signs of her wakening. The small movement of her head assured him that she was coming round.

'Tonks?' he said, trying to tempt her to open her eyes. It worked.

Her eyes twitched and slowly and opened a little. She blinked as if trying to clear her sight and took in her surroundings. She gazed upon him, frowning slightly as if trying to make out who it was.

'Remus?' she asked, he voice hoarse from disuse.

'Yes Nymphadora, it's OK, you're fine now.' Remus reassured her.

She blinked again in confusion, gripping his hand. It was as if she was trying to figure out what was wrong with what he said. The fact that she wasn't OK, or that he had called her by her first name. Remus realised how disorientated she must be if she hadn't remembered to correct him about the way he addressed her.

She still mustn't have realised what had happened only a few hours earlier and asked, 'Why are you in my bedroom with me?'

He smirked at her perplexity and answered, 'I'm not Nymphadora, you're not in your bedroom sweetheart.'

She blinked again, her eyes momentarily going out of focus. It looked like she had a concussion. Her mind trying to unfathom all the information he was supplying her with. She grew slightly paler.

'My head hurts' she exclaimed, closing her eyes briefly. He brought his hand up to her head and stroked her hair as gently as possibly, trying to comfort her through her pain. Her eyes opened once again and looked at him with the first signs of any vivacity. She quickly rolled over and promptly threw up on the floor, narrowly missing Remus. He rubbed her back as she retched, whispering 'it's alright' every now and then.

She eventually stopped, tears leaking from her eyes from the strain and pain. She curled in on herself, holding a hand to her head.

'Shh, it's OK, just relax' Remus said, holding onto her other hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze.

She looked back up at him in her delirium. Face pale with tear stains. _Much more of them to come_, he thought.

'Remus' she gasped, 'what happened?' she finally realised that she was here for a reason, and that she could not remember _that _reason. He braced himself and took a deep breath.

'The Ministry remember?' he caressed her cheek, trying to get her to remember. 'The battle? Harry and the Order?'

Realisation dawned upon her. Her eyes widened and she asked, 'what happened? Did we win? Is everyone alright?'

He wished desperately that he could reassure her with words of happiness and content. That he could tell her that everything was all right that that they were all going to Grimauld Place for a drink. But he couldn't.

'The Death Eaters didn't get the prophecy, everyone's more or less OK, just a couple of the children in Hogwarts hospital wing. Nothing Poppy can't fix.' Remus explained, his head falling to look at his lap.

Tonks' conscious levels must been increasing as she noted that something was off.

'Remus what's happened?' she asked again, he voice full of concern.

He looked up into her brown eyes, shining from the remaining tears and the moons glow. They were filled with such innocence and naivety. He had to tell her. She would find out anyway, better getting it over with now.

'He's gone' he whispered, his voice cracking. He needn't say anymore as the information processed through her foggy brain. She knew whom he meant. He could see it in her eyes. They misted over with tears again, slipping down her face as she laid there in shock. His own eyes filled with tears. He didn't bother brushing them away as they fell.

Tonks lay there as her tears fell, staring off into space. She seemed to have gone into shock, not responding to her name when he called it.

Silently, he stood and carefully placed himself in the bed and laid beside her, pulling her into his arms. She seemed to have come out of it a bit as she placed her arms around him and buried her face in his chest. The material becoming wet from the onslaught of her tears. She shook gently as tried to conceal her sobs within her body.

Remus let his own tears fall, giving into the grief. He clutched her tightly to his body. He pushed his face into her limp mousy hair, entwining his fingers within it. It would be OK; he can live without Sirius… he's lived without James. He's got other friends. Molly, Arthur, Tonks… but was Tonks a friend? Or was she something more…

It certainly did feel nice with her lying in his arms, despite the reason why she was there. She fitted there comfortably. Perfectly. He clenched his eyes sharply as he heard her choke a sob back. His own throat feeling constricted. He drew small circles on her back trying to sooth her. A perpetual silence filled the room.

'It will be OK Tonks, just forget about it for now, you need to recover.' Remus said, attempting to make her feel better. He got no rely except a shudder of breath as she exhaled and relaxed into his arms. He closed his own tired eyes and continued caressing her. Breathing in her scent.

It was 4:00am before he tried to converse with her again, getting no response from the sleeping woman in his arms. Her limp body, battered and bruised.

The early signs of dawn keeping him awake. The pale sunrise and the birds chirping. The signs of life. He mentally swore at himself for thinking about that, about what Sirius had no longer. He could think about him another time, as for now he needed to sleep. It wasn't fair on the others for him to break down; he needed to be strong for them.

The images of the battle left him as his mind relaxed, and his brain finally succumbed into the subconscious. To the land of dreams where James and Sirius where quite alive.

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Enjoy? Hope so, please review to give me ideas, help and advise, or just an opinion. I really don't mind if you thought it was rubbish, please **do** tell me. 


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